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Thread started 03/20/20 11:54am

EmmaMcG

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Jokes to get you through the day

Nail salons closed, Lash salons closed, Hair salons closed, Tanning salons closed, waxing salons closed...

It’s about to get ugly out there.
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Reply #1 posted 03/20/20 11:55am

EmmaMcG

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If I had a penny for everyone who asked me to look after their dogs,

I’d have a pound.
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Reply #2 posted 03/20/20 2:09pm

kpowers

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EmmaMcG said:

If I had a penny for everyone who asked me to look after their dogs, I’d have a pound.

I like that one wink

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Reply #3 posted 03/20/20 4:01pm

EmmaMcG

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At a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.

“Nervous?” asked the interviewer.

“No. I always give 110%”.
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Reply #4 posted 03/20/20 4:03pm

EmmaMcG

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A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

The judge asks her: “First offender?” She replies: “No. First a Gibson, then a Fender.”
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Reply #5 posted 03/20/20 4:21pm

poppys

EmmaMcG said:

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks her: “First offender?” She replies: “No. First a Gibson, then a Fender.”

HAHA LoVe musician jokes.

What do you call a drummer (or insert alternate instrument) without a girlfriend? homeless

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Reply #6 posted 03/20/20 4:24pm

luv4u

Moderator

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Where is KingBAD with his jokes?? lol

Edmonton, AB - canada
Mod Goddess of the SNIP & BAN Making Moves - OF4S
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #7 posted 03/21/20 1:43am

EmmaMcG

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Today I was invited by a female janitor to smoke some weed at her apartment, but I declined.

I can’t deal with high maintenance women.
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Reply #8 posted 03/21/20 1:44am

EmmaMcG

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For Christmas, I bought my husband new beads for his abacus.

It’s the little things that count.
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Reply #9 posted 03/21/20 7:58am

S2DG

EmmaMcG said:

Today I was invited by a female janitor to smoke some weed at her apartment, but I declined. I can’t deal with high maintenance women.


lol

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Reply #10 posted 03/21/20 8:28am

kpowers

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luv4u said:

Where is KingBAD with his jokes?? lol

It's Queen Emmas' turn

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Reply #11 posted 03/21/20 11:50am

S2DG

How does a woman hold her liquor? By the ears.

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Reply #12 posted 03/21/20 2:40pm

KingBAD

lol

lol

lol

lol

EmmaMcG said:

Nail salons closed, Lash salons closed, Hair salons closed, Tanning salons closed, waxing salons closed... It’s about to get ugly out there.

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #13 posted 03/21/20 2:41pm

KingBAD

EmmaMcG said:

If I had a penny for everyone who asked me to look after their dogs, I’d have a pound.

lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #14 posted 03/21/20 2:42pm

KingBAD

EmmaMcG said:

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks her: “First offender?” She replies: “No. First a Gibson, then a Fender.”

lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #15 posted 03/21/20 2:43pm

KingBAD

luv4u said:

Where is KingBAD with his jokes?? lol

can't help it if you ain't keepin up biggrin biggrin biggrin

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #16 posted 03/21/20 2:43pm

KingBAD

S2DG said:

How does a woman hold her liquor? By the ears.

lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #17 posted 03/21/20 4:23pm

EmmaMcG

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I can’t believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick.

How low can you go?
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Reply #18 posted 03/21/20 4:26pm

EmmaMcG

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Did you know a school of piranha can devour a child in 30 seconds?

Anyway, today I lost my job at the aquarium.
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Reply #19 posted 03/21/20 6:23pm

kpowers

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EmmaMcG said:

Did you know a school of piranha can devour a child in 30 seconds? Anyway, today I lost my job at the aquarium.

Image result for batman laughing gif

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Reply #20 posted 03/21/20 6:56pm

KingBAD

EmmaMcG said:

I can’t believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick. How low can you go?

lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #21 posted 03/21/20 7:48pm

KingBAD

luv4u said:

Where is KingBAD with his jokes?? lol

Image may contain: possible text that says 'JOKE LIKE SHARE OF THE DAY If women are so good at multi-tasking, why can't they have a headache and sex at the same time!?'

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #22 posted 03/22/20 7:49am

EmmaMcG

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The guy who stole my diary just died.

My thoughts are with his family.
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Reply #23 posted 03/22/20 7:53am

EmmaMcG

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Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?

It was about a weak back.
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Reply #24 posted 03/22/20 8:10am

KingBAD

EmmaMcG said:

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #25 posted 03/22/20 8:30am

poppys

Girlz got jokes! flower

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Reply #26 posted 03/22/20 9:38am

S2DG

EmmaMcG said:

Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine? It was about a weak back.



falloff

Emma you're on fire here.

People, please tip your waitresses, she's here all week.

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Reply #27 posted 03/22/20 9:47am

poppys

S2DG said:

How does a woman hold her liquor? By the ears.


nod cool

related - I call my man Courvoisier, 'cause he's a likker.

[Edited 3/22/20 13:02pm]

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Reply #28 posted 03/22/20 12:56pm

kpowers

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EmmaMcG said:

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

Image result for batman laughing gif

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Reply #29 posted 03/22/20 1:23pm

S2DG

You've gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.

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